Didn't Do It

Superstitious much? A little for me. Yeah, I hate to admit it. But there's a door left ajar in my brain that allows superstition to enter and find temporary, if not permanent, residence. Like finding a coin concealed in the dust clumps under the bed and salvaging it. Dusting it off and taking note of it's date. Remembering the significance that year bestowed upon me. Then pocketing the newly cherished coin in the little change pocket of my jeans in hopes of good luck. Then buying a lottery ticket.

Superstitious? Yes. Logical? Absolutely. Ummmmm. Not. But, HEY!?, who doesn't add a little mystery or pretend time to their daily lives. You don't? Not even a little? I don't believe it. Me, if I found a coin, dated 1973, pocketed it, and won the lottery with it's secret superstitious magic ~ I'd buy a Dodge muscle car from 1973. It's that simple. Fantasy. Superstition. Reality. Denial.

If you lose your wedding ring while swimming in the ocean, or anywhere, like driving with your hand out the window, doing the dolphin swim in the wind, does that mean your marriage will fail? I had that fear. And after a pretty long marriage I figured Yeah, that's it. As long as this ring stays on my finger, the marriage is good. Well. Well, well, well. Reality. Denial. That was fantasy. Or superstition.

The marriage disintegrated. Crumbled. Came to an abrupt halt after eighteen years. And not because of a wedding ring lost in the ocean's waves or in the highway's brute force of wind resistance. That was obviously a fairy tale conjured up in my brain. Compartmentalized in the room... with the door ajar. That wasn't the reason for the marital treason.

After a good amount of ponderance on the situation at hand, I realized the reason for the treason wasn't the ring superstition. It was something completely different. Something I took note of some eighteen years ago but minimalized and then compartmentalized, deftly.

My wife and I got married on a friggin' gorgeous September Saturday afternoon. It was remarkable how nice it was. Sunny and warm. Gentle, kindly breezes. Not only that, but the setting was brilliant as well. Big, old historic mansion-like building with a wide wrap around veranda. String quartet playing after the outdoor nuptials, especially my one request; Greensleeves. A pretty big gathering of family and friends. A delightful party. It had all the makings of a great send-off. What a way for two lovebirds to begin their life together as husband and wife.

The wedding did have all the makings. Or maybe, in hindsight, all the trappings.

String quartet outside. Live DJ inside. Dancing. Eating. Drinking. More drinking. Robust enthusiasm throughout. Laughing. Dancing. More eating. A lot more drinking. Nine bridesmaids in all. Surrounding the princess. Enjoying the event. Looking forward to their futures. The groom and the groomsmen, approximately eight in all, gather out by the giant oak tree sharing some reefer and hearty banter surrounding the prince. All dressed up in rented tuxedos. Fairy tale? Fantasy? Reality? Denial?

It played out. As life does.

The princess and her bridesmaids embarked on their futures. Spouses. Families. Careers. Highs. And lows. The prince and his buddies also carried on after the big event. Jobs. Spouses. Families. Lows. Highs. The big costly wedding book with all the expensive photographs was closed. The night...over. And life goes on. Real life. Not the fantasy life, the princess and the prince. But the husband and the wife. And then the children.

After eighteen years complacency sets in. That's a fact. As a married couple, as a family, routines are set. The mundane becomes a reality. Time flies by. Unhappiness sets in. All facts. But they are not the reason for a marriage failing. A couple works through that and becomes stronger. When addressed properly a marriage can be saved if both parties want that. If.

What doomed my marriage was simple. It was one of two things. Not necessarily facts. Maybe factual superstition would be a more logical term. It was either doomed because I didn't know the song Greensleeves had lyrics. I thought it was a traditional instrumental. Or the marriage was doomed because we didn't consummate the marriage on the night of.

We didn't do it.

'We didn't do it' vs. the lyrics. You decide. Facts is facts, man.

Greensleeves first verse (I kid you fucking not):

Alas my love you do me wrong

To cast me off discourteously

and I have loved you oh so long

Delighting in your company

I requested that to be played by the string quartet...AT OUR WEDDING.